Be Honest : A Key to Fearless Honesty

We live in a society where other people’s opinions matter. But why? 

Why should another person’s opinion about you, make any difference to what you think about yourself? It shouldn’t. But it does We care about what other people think because we want to be liked. We have a natural desire to belong, to be accepted and to be loved, which is why sometimes we don’t say what we really think, because well, we’d rather be liked than say what we think. 

Let me ask you this. How is that working out for you? If you were to be truly honest with yourself right now, what would that look like? 

Honesty, it’s a positive value with attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness. So, why is it so damn hard for us to be honest? I mean, if it’s such a positive value why do we keep everything to ourselves, bottle things up, skirt around the truth, tell a fib, maybe even a white lie, or even a downright lie, than tell the truth, or speak up? 

It’s because we are innately wired to imagine the worst possible outcome. All of it comes from a deep rooted fear of not being liked. So when we say what we think, it’s scary, because that person might not like us because of it. When I stopped caring what people thought of me that was when I truly started to live. 

Three ways to elevate your honesty: 

1. Try straight talk. Say what you think. Speak up in a meeting. Give feedback. Tell a person that what they have said has hurt you. Give yourself the voice to say what’s on your mind and tell it like it is. How you approach the conversation determines how it’s interpreted - you don’t have to be blunt about it. Try it with tact

2.  Be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to be different and create the life that you want to live. Stop comparing yourself and your life to the lives of others. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing just to make other people happy. Learn to say ‘no’ and take responsibility for your life and what YOU want to do. Honesty is about self-care and doing what makes you happy. 

3. Practice self-awareness. Honesty is just as much about saying what you think, as it is knowing who you are. If you’re constantly aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, it’s easier to be honest. The practice of self-awareness is an ongoing process. It’s about catching yourself when you start to think negatively. It’s about knowing what’s important to you, and why. 

No one can hurt you as much as your own mind. You are worthy of happiness, and when you stop pleasing people by being honest with what YOU want, you can liberate yourself. You can elevate yourself. 

Start now. Be honest.